i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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