69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize