Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
