Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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