dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
