I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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