i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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