I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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