i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm passing your future prison.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
