I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
