I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
