Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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