She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
