If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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