dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
