You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
