$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
