That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
