I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
