like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
