My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
