Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
