So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
