When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize