Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
