turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
