Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize