i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
