Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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