You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
