WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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