I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just tell him i said nine months
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize