I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
