we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
