I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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