i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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