Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers

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(908): View more from New Jersey

best eviction party ever.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.

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(253): View more from Washington

I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?

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