There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
