She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
