at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
