oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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