My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
