his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize