It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
