do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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