They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize