You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
