last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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