i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize