well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
