I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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