I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
