"it" just moved
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dick very happy bro
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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