I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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