His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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