Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
