on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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