help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
