I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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