haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
