i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
