It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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