i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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