I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
