goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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