I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
