He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
