bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
