"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
